Dear Fanfiction,
by IHeartThePercyJacksonBooks
Summary: Yes, I know, there are many of these but I couldn't help myself!
1. Sincerely, Percy

Dear Fanfiction lemon writers,

You really think either Annabeth or I _want_ to do that?  
Or that Athena and Poseidon would let us?  
I prefer eating lemons. And I hate lemons.

Sincerely, -The Virgin- Percy.


	2. Sincerely, Annabeth

Dear Fanfiction lemon writers,

I second Percy's statement.

Sincerely, -The Virgin- Annabeth.


	3. Sincerely, Athena

Dear Fanfiction,

Percabeth will never happen!  
Annabeth would never fall for that idiot!  
I've already put some godly fea- I mean respect into him.  
Wait...  
Poseidon tells me they're already a couple...  
Excuse me, I've got some hardcore parenting to do.

Sincerely, -The Wise And Awesome- Athena.


	4. Sincerely, Harry

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

Ok, me and Percy both have green eyes.  
And black hair.  
So we look alike?  
No.  
You see, put facial features into account.  
Percy has the likeness of a Greek freaking god.  
I'm British.

Sincerely, -The British Boy- Harry Potter.


	5. Sincerely, Katie

Dear Tratie Writers,

I am not nor will I ever be madly in love with *shudders* Travis Stoll!  
I am also not obsessed with cereal!  
Or have anger issues!  
So shut the _*this word has been removed from fanfiction to keep this story K+, thank you!*_ up!

Sincerely, -Travis Is An Idiot- Katie.


	6. Sincerely, Travis

Dear Tratie Writers,

I resent Katie's previous statement.  
She is totally in love with me ;) .  
And obsessed with cereal.  
And has anger issues.

Sincerely, -I'm Sexy And I Know It- Travis.


	7. Sincerely, Poseidon

Dear Pothena Writers,

Not going to happen.  
Just saying.

Sincerely, -The Awesome Sea God- Poseidon.


	8. Sincerely, Thalia

Dear Thuke, Thalico, Perlia, Thalabeth, And Any Other Pairing With Thalia In It Writers,

No.  
What part of _no dating_ do you not understand?  
And I didn't join the hunters because I'm lesbian.  
I joined to give Percy a few more years to prepare!  
So go die in a hole.  
Luke is dead.  
Nico is my cousin.  
Percy is my other cousin.  
Annabeth is my best friend _whose dating Percy_.  
And any other pairing I hated so much I couldn't write it down.

Sincerely, -Never Going To Date- Thalia.


	9. Sincerely, Luke

Dear Thuke, Lukabeth, And Any Other Pairing With Luke In It Writers,

I'm not gay.  
I'm not pedophile.  
I'm dead.

Sincerely, -The Dead- Luke.


	10. Sincerely, Percy 2

Dear Percy With Anyone Else Writers,

Why am I paired with everyone?  
Perlia (PercyxThalia) (she's my cousin)  
Perico (PercyxNico (_he_'s my cousin)  
Pertemis (PercyxArtemis) (she hates me)  
Peruke (PercyxLuke) (_he_'s dead)  
Jasery (PercyxJason) (WTF)  
Perna (PercyxReyna) (she's too... dark haired)  
Perlina (PercyxSilena) (she's dead too)  
Pera (PercyxHera) (married)  
Perthena (PercyxAthena) (she hates me too)  
Perchel (PercyxRachel) (can't date)  
Percabeth (PercyxAnnabeth) (you guys finally got something right)

Sincerely, -Dating Annabeth And Only Annabeth- Percy.


	11. Sincerely, Fangirl

Dear Percabeth Break Up Writers,

Never going to break up.  
Percabeth for ever!

Sincerely, -The Percabeth- Fangirl.


	12. Sincerely, Nico

Dear NicoxOC Writers,

I am NOT emo.  
I do NOT want to date your Mary-Sue.  
I CAN buy McDonalds without raising the dead.  
I do NOT have a crush on Thalia.  
I am NOT gay anymore.  
You guys are just begging to be sent to the Fields of Punishment.

Sincerely, -Not Emo- Nico.


	13. Sincerely, Piper

Dear Fanfiction,

Please stop calling me a Mary-Sue.  
I have a list of reasons that prove I am not a Mary-Sue.  
1. I don't care about clothes.  
2. I don't brag about my dad.  
3. I don't wear makeup.  
4. I'm not self absorbed.  
5. I'm not.

Sincerely, -Not A Mary-Sue- Piper.


	14. Sincerely, Jason

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

I do to have a personality!  
I just...  
Can't remember it...

Sincerely, -Has A Personality- Jason.


	15. Sincerely, Annabeth 2

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

Percy is NOT joining Chaos!  
He is NOT leaving me!

Sincerely, -Never Leave Me Seaweed Brain- Annabeth.


	16. Sincerely, Rachel

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

Why do have so many stories where I wear almost nothing and shake my hips?  
Jenas and tshirt.  
And I never walk while shaking my hips.

Sincerely, -Not A Slut- Rachel.


	17. Sincerely, Leo

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

Thank you so much for getting me a girlfriend!  
Though I have one request...  
Can she not be a Mary-Sue?  
Thanks again!

Sincerely, -Hot Stuff- Leo.


	18. Sincerely, Hecate

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

I am not evil nor am I a prankster.

Sincerely, -Doesn't Prank- Hecate.


	19. Sincerely, Percy 3

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

I'm an only child.  
Unless Paul and mom have a kid...  
But until then...  
I'm an only child.

Sincerely, -Only Child- Percy.


	20. Sincerely, Professer Dumbledore

Dear Fanfiction Harry Potter and Percy Jackson Crossover Writers,

Demigods do not have wizard powers and therfore cannot go to Hogwarts.  
Except children of Hecate.

Sincerely, -Head Master- Professer Dumbledore.


	21. Sincerely, Athena 2

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

There is no _sexual tension_ between Poseidon and I.  
I hate him. He hates me. We're both happy.

Sincerely, -Hates Poseidon- Athena.


	22. Sincerely, Fangirl 2

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

There is a little something called spell check.  
Please use it.

Sincerely, -It's Bad Enough With Dyslexia Learn To Spell- Fangirl.


	23. Sincerely, Rick Riordan

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

My version is the only version.

Sincerely, -The Author- Rick Riordan.


	24. Sincerely, Kronos

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

I don't have children.  
Stupid mortals.

Sincerely, -I Hate Percy Jackson- Kronos.


	25. Sincerely, Hades

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

I do not need anger management classes.

Sincerely, -Death Lord- Hades.


	26. Sincerely, Mary-Sues

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

Why do you flame us?  
All we want is Nico di Angelo and a perfect destiny!  
Is that too much to ask?

Sincerely, -The Percy- Mary-Sues.


	27. Sincerely, Reyna

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

I'm over him.

Sincerely, -Over Jason- Reyna.


	28. Sincerely, Leo 2

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

I do not want a girlfriend.  
I do not need a girlfriend.  
I am just saying this to make myself feel better.

Sincerely, -Needs A Girlfriend- Leo.


	29. Sincerely, Persephone

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

So much incest...  
Hitlers parent were first cousins too...  
Look how that turned out...  
And I got stuck with my uncle!

Sincerely, -I Hate Hades- Persephone.


	30. Sincrely, Hades 2

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

She loves me ;)

Sincerely, -Persephone Loves Me- Hades.


	31. Sincerely, Chiron

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

My name is not Pony Dude nor will I allow people to call me that.

Sincerely, -Not Pony Dude- Chiron.


	32. Sincerely, Conner

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

I'm not a liar!  
I'm trained in the art of deception.

Sincerely, -Not A Liar- Conner.


	33. Sincerely, Piper 2

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

As a wise man once said,  
"All we have to fear is fear itself."  
And a mad Percabeth.

Sincerely, -Percabeth Is Scary- Piper.


	34. Sincerely, Silena

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

I'm dead.  
So is Charlie.  
Get over it.

Sincerely, -The Dead- Silena.


	35. Sincerely, Iris

Dear The Skittles Company,

You cannot taste the rainbow.

Sincerely, -Screw Skittles I Eat Real Rainbows- Iris.


	36. Sincerely, Grover

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

I will not bring your Mary-Sue to camp.

Sincerely, -Mary-Sue Less- Grover.


	37. Sincerely, Everyone

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

If you're going to make the stories extremely OOC.  
Write your own story.  
Don't take Camp or names from Rick.

Sincerely, -Everyone- Everyone.


	38. Sincerely, Octavian

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

Recently, I, Octivian the great, have had the immense misfortune to come across something.  
But not just any something, a repulsive something.  
Something that all the little fangirls and fan-boys call,  
"Slash"  
Now, my pretties, by writing such 'M' rated profanities, you have signed yourself up on a list, so that when you are sleeping.  
I will break into your humble adobe, and your favorite webkinz shall be mulitated.

Sincerely, -The Awesome- Octavian.


	39. Sincerely, Rachel 2

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

I'm over Percy.  
And I have a soul!

Sincerely, -RED- Rachel.


	40. Sincerely, Hazel

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

I will not be part of a love triangle.  
I'm with Frank.  
I am not having a hard time choosing.  
I chose Frank.  
Not Leo.

Sincerely, -With Frank- Hazel.


	41. Sincerely, Frank

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

Hazel is mine until she wants otherwise.

Sincerely, -Loves Hazel- Frank.


	42. Sincerely, Travis 2

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

Thank you!  
For writing this thing called slash!  
I'm comfortable enough with my sexuality not to care.  
But the look on Conner's face is priceless!  
I love you!  
Marry me?  
Nico will be a great flower girl!  
Nevermind.  
Katie just slapped me.

Sincerely, -Red Cheeked- Travis.


	43. Sincerely, Conner 2

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

I hate you.  
I hate all of you.  
I hate slash.  
*pukes*

Sincerely, -I Hate You- Conner.


	44. Sincerely, Thalia 2

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

Oh yes.  
I saw Chiron exit his wheel chair.  
Gallop around.  
Such strong legs.  
And I knew we were meant to be.  
Seriously?  
ThaliaxChiron?  
Ew.

Sincerely, -Very Disgusted- Thalia.


	45. Sincerely, Chris

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

I don't like Clarisse.  
Like a friend...

Sincerely, -Clarisse *Sigh*- Chris.


	46. Sincerely, Clarisse

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

I have a girl side!  
I just...  
Can't find it...

Sincerely, -Can Be Girly- Clarisse.


	47. Sincerely, Percy 4

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

I'm a really bad singer.  
So screw those, 'Percy proposes through singing' fics.

Sincerely, -Can't Sing- Percy.


	48. Sincerely, Nico 2

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

If I hear one more person call me Nicole and I swear I'll punch something.

Sincerely, -Not Nicole- Nico.


	49. Sincerely, Aphrodite

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

Luv yall!  
Makin new couples for me!

Sincerely, -Luvs Ya- Aphrodite.


	50. Sincerely, Sluts

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

How come there's no stories where we get Percy?

Sincerely, -The Need Percy- Sluts.


	51. Sincerely, Tartarus

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

I can't believe those stupid demigods got out of me.

Sincerely, -The Evil- Tartarus.


	52. Sincerely, Hermione

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

Sorry, wrong story.

Sincerely, -Super Smart And Amazingly Beautiful- Hermione.


	53. Sincerely, Annabeth 3

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

How OOC can you get?

Sincerely, -IC- Annabeth.


	54. Sincerely, Fluff

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

Characters deserve more of me.

Sincerely, -Fluffy- Fluff.


	55. Sincerely, Calypso

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

I hate heroes.

Sincerely, -Mad- Calypso.


	56. Sincerely, Secret Admirer

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

I love you!

Sincerely, -The- Secret Admirer.


	57. Sincerely, Posts

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

You need to use us more often.

Sincerely, -The- Posts.


	58. Sincerely, Reviews

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

We are not a form of currency.

Sincerely, -The- Reviews.


	59. Sincerely, Zoe

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

You're writing stories about me?  
I'm flattered, but I am a Hunter.  
Therefore, cannot date.  
Expecially Percy.

Sincerely, -The Star Hunter- Zoe.


	60. Sincerely, Bianca

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

I'm dead.  
D-E-A-D.  
Dead.

Sincerely, -The DEAD Hunter- Bianca.


	61. Sincerely, Artemis

Dear Fanfiction Writer,

I do not love Percy.  
I do not like Percy.  
I hate him.

Sincerely, -The Lead Hunter- Artemis.


	62. Sincerely, Apollo

Dear Fanfiction Writer,

My haikus are cool.  
Why do you make fun of me?  
I am so awesome.

Sincerely, -The Haiku Guy- Apollo.


	63. Sincerely, Hades 2

Dear Fanfiction Writer,

I hate dice.

Sincerely, -The Death Guy- Hades.


	64. Sincerely, Zeus

Dear Fanfiction Writer,

I love dice.

Sincerely, -The Sky Guy- Zeus.


	65. Sincerely, Poseidon 2

Dear Fanfiction Writer,

Dice are ok.

Sincerely, -The Water Guy- Poseidon.


	66. Sincerely, Weasley Twins

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

Who are these 'Stolls'?  
How dare they steal our awesomeness!  
We have two new victims.

Sincerely, -The Pranksters- Weasley Twins.


	67. Sincerely, Chiron 2

Dear Fanfiction Lemon Writers,

Nothing like that happens in Camp borders.

Sincerely, -The Pony Dude- Chiron.


	68. Sincerely, Stolls

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

Dish cleaning isn't the only punishment at camp.

Sincerely, -The Pranksters- Stolls.


	69. Sincerely, Aphrodite 2

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

Love it all keep writing!

Sincerely, -The Beauty- Aphrodite.


	70. Sincerely, Demeter

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

Eat more cereal!

Sincerely, -The Grain Girl- Demeter.


	71. Sincerely, Charles

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

Any couples including Silena but not me suck.

Sincerely, -The Worker- Charles.


	72. Sincerely, Drew

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

Why do you all write me off as a bi- I mean jerk?  
I have a heart too!  
A heart that longs for every rich and hot boy on Earth ;)

Sincerely, -The Queen- Drew.


	73. Sincerely, Hestia

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

Noticed me yet?

Sincerely, -Hearth- Hestia.


End file.
